ASK NOT WHAT MEN CAN DO FOR YOU.

Today is International Women's Day and women's groups around the world usually use it to draw attention to decades of struggle by women for equality, justice, peace and development.

While acknowledging that women still have a long way to go towards achieving this goal, perhaps it is time for them to reflect on the process used to achieve this.

In ancient Greece, Lysistrata started a sex strike against men in order to end a war. In 2001, the women of the Turkish village of Sirt followed Lysistrata's example, and went on a sex strike to demand a decent water supply.

Luckily for the men, most women's groups have taken Lysistrata's idea of the "women's strike" less literally.

For example, The International Women's Day movement, does sponsor a Global Women's Strike but in a different modus operandi.

Although women are encouraged to follow the Lysistrata model to gain attention, the strike includes time off from paid or unpaid work, accompanied by different kinds of activism. The goal of the strike was to highlight women's contributions to the world.

I have never felt at ease when women use any form of blackmail, extortion, coercion or strike to get what they want.

Especially vile is a woman's use of tears. It ends all discussions for most rational gentlemen. They give in as most of them have been trained not to make a woman cry. Even if we achieve our goal, it will leave a bitter aftertaste for the men concerned.

Maybe we should approach this year's International Women's Day from another angle. We could reflect on the way we have been treating our male colleagues, husbands, brothers and sons.

Did we enrich their lives? Or did we treat them like a cash cow? Did we treat them as a partner and co-worker or did we treat them as a competitor? Did we show them respect or did we demand respect from them?

We could also reflect on their needs as they try their best to work in this new and challenging environment where women have their careers and are not afraid to articulate their needs, wants and desires clearly to men. We could give them a pat on the back when they make the effort to look after the baby or when they do the housework after a hard day's work in the office.
We could reassure them that even as we climb higher up the career ladder, we still need them, at times, to hold the ladder steady for us. We need to learn to appreciate man, for living with a woman in the 21st century is not easy. Should they open the door for women? Should they be strong yet offer a shoulder for women to cry on? Should they be a Sensitive New Age Gentlemen or a metrosexual?

In this age of in-vitro fertilisation do women need men? Are they just sperm banks or do they have rights as a biological father? Maybe as a sign of maturity, we could start an International Man's Day where we can take the initiative to create activities to improve men's health, promote fathers' active participation in the family or to prevent men abusing women.

For a start we could stop asking what we can get from men and begin to reflect on what we can give them. Only then could we finally say that we have been liberated from the shackles of inequality and injustice and truly celebrate International Women's Day as women ought and should.

This article first appeared in TODAY on 8th March 2006