Are you in my age bracket ?

I think I going to be sad, I think it today.

If the following evoke memories then you would have grown up with me in the 70's.

1. The Carpenter who sang the above lyrics. Which song is it? She died.




2. Of course there is MJ before Thriller and Bad. He sang "Ben" and I"'ll be there " when he was just a boy.



3. Then there is "Puppy Love" and "I am a little bit country and I am a little rock and roll." Another famous family group like MJ.


4. FF who died on the same day as MJ married the man I wanted to marry. However it will coast me more then six million dollars. A major disappointment.

5. Another singer who died so he cannot "Follow Me." Looks like he has followed others and "Fly away."


"I found my Thrill on Strawberry Hills" The one and only who could make the toilet looks cool.






I love these two. Any guess where were they working?




Soon it will be my turn to say good bye to this world. It can be less then 24 hours or in 24 years or even 42 years. Dose not matter. Don't cry for me (another famous Broadway musical before Madonna took it to the movies)

When you come to my wake, please have a loud jamming session with drums and songs. Celebrate that I was and still am luckily to have meet people like you and those who are reading my blog.

Meanwhile, I will live life to the fullest, focus on relationship and prepare to meet my maker.

Is 18 too young to be a mum?

Extracted from an article first published in The Straits Times 22.6.2009

Ms Tan Siew Kim, the mother of the baby who drowned last year, told The Straits Times she found becoming a parent at 18 overwhelming.

She declined counselling after the baby arrived because she saw 'no point to it' - with or without counselling, she was still saddled with a baby to care for. She felt it was 'not right' to give her child up for adoption, but could not give up her partying lifestyle at the weekend either.

It was while she was sleeping off a night of clubbing and drinking in May last year that her untended child toddled his way to the pail of water.



When Anicius was born, our maid was on home leave in the Philippine. I have to go back to work after two months of no-pay leaves. My eldest three children was a boy of 16, two girls of 15 and 13.

I left the new born Anicius in the care of these three children as they were home-schooled. I wanted them to learn how to care for a new born, how to bath, wash and feed Anicius with breast milk.

Of course their grandmothers yell high dungeon.

Even now when Anicius is going to be four years old, he is being cared for by the children. Sometime I feel more like a grandmother to my youngest son.


A note of advise to all potential parents and any teenagers who wants to have sex outside marriage.

A child is best conceived within a circle of love in a marriage as a child is not a trophy or a tax break.

Be prepared to give up your selfish, self centered life style which include computer games, partying lifestyle and msn cheat and blogging.

Sad to say many of the children that were conceived during one night stand or outside of marriage were conceived by people who have demonstrated no sense of responsibility to begin with.

They are conceived by people who are more interested in satisfying themselves first before giving any consideration to anyone else.

Conceiving a child do not make a person responsible overnight as Ms Tan case showed.

A message to all teenagers who are reading this blog:

Face it. You have the power to create life each time you have sex even if you use protection like condom and the pill.

Abortion is not an option as you will feel guilty for the rest of your life despite of what others told you. They have numbed their guilt.

If you can demonstrated your self-control and take time to choose the father of your children, I assure you would will not regret it.

Since I began teaching in 1986, facing tight deadlines and insurmountable paperwork – I often feel like throwing in the towel.

I soldier on, however, thinking of the crazy nuns who taught me in secondary stchool.

Sister Cecily Parvi - the brilliant biologist who nevertheless devoted herself to teaching rebellious teenagers.

Sister Christina Yeo - able to illuminate love when explaining “Midsummer Night's Dream” over our preferred “Man in the net.”

They touched my life. One gave me free tuition in English even though I was already studying in a government junior college.

Their dedication to teaching is unparalleled. Always supporting us; never motivated by bonuses, rank or even promotion as their earning are given to the convent. Our development was their focus.

When I feel like giving up, I remember these selfless nuns. I still cannot measure up to them. Yet that is why I remain a teacher, in the process of becoming an educator.

A silent wife is a gift from God

On 11 June 1989, my husband made me an Ess.

It been twenty one years since I became one

Friends in my secondary school knew me as Ong Hock Lin.

When I became an Ess, I went to change my IC to officially be come Mrs France Ess.

I was not satisfy with the fashion at that time of combining two sur names together like Ong-Ess or Chai-Sim, Lum-Lan or even Lim-Chwee

I wanted to be to be known from then on as Mrs Ess.

Some has asked how did our marriage last for so long?

On my part, I find that the phrase " A silent wife is a gift from God" has helped throughout this journey.

Being silent does not mean being submissive, being bullied or being stepped upon.

Being silent is powerful as you demonstrate your discipline to know when to speak and when not to speak.

Being silent is graceful as you do not engaged in groundless gossip or distructive debate.

For example,on our wedding anniversary, I went and buy a bag Buah Keluak and cooked it with meat.

Any nonya worth her salt will claimed that Babi Buah Keluark
is a classic Peranakan dish.

So when my Eurasian Mil claimed that Buah Keluark is a Eurasian dish, I have two choices.

Keep my mouth shut and keep the peace or correct her and made her feel uneasy or even angry.

I judged that since it was just a matter of opinion and not a matter of fact, I decided to keep my mouth shut.


Aristotle the Greek philosopher commented that "Anyone can become angry. That is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way - that is not easy."

I was glad that I did not take the easy way out.

It helps that in a marriage we do not take the easy way out.

When we face a rough patch, it is easier to seek other distractions-- computer games, another listening ear, an affair.

When tempted to walk out of the marriage, it is easier to sign the divorce paper. Harder to face to the truth.

In any fight or quarrel, it is much easier to point the finger at your spouse then to reflect on your own shortfall.

I like being an ess. Some who read this blog will again get angry at my traditional values just as this blog stir up so many negative emotions three years ago when I suggested that to love is to obey.

Tank Man

Remember 1989 when spring beld into summer in Bejian Tiananmen Square?
The gathering of people turned in to waves chanting for change.

June 5th 1989. I was about to give birth to my first born son.

This image was splashed across the world.

No one knew his name.

Not many of my students understood the significance of what this man did.

A single man, standing up for truth.

A brave man, standing alone.

Putting his life on the line.

Would that I have the courage to be like him.

But we are called daily .....

to put our life on the line.

For the values we belief in

To stand tall

And not be afraid.

To be countered.

To be loved

To be free.

Ready to be Tank Man?

For more information please read


http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/asia/article6390782.ece

See this video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMBTuFbLQH4&feature=related


There is still hope.

Sex in the Esshold

Let start from the very begining.
A very good place to start.
When you sing you start with Do Re Me
The first three words just happen to beDo Re Me .

So where do babies come from ?
Sex between Mummy and Daddy.

http://gen127.blogspot.com/

Due to the Aware Saga, the role of parents in the context of sex education has been brought to the forefront.

If we parents do not take the responsibility and the authority to teach our children about the birds and the bees, others will just take over our place.

Enough is enough.

There is no need to be shy about parents having sex.

Our children need to see that we enjoy sex with each other within the safe boundry of marriage.


We are the best role model of them. If we do not play an active part other will take our place.

The other day, while watching House on DVD, one of our teenager asked about STD. We stopped the DVD and use that opportunity to share with her our views and values on sex and STD.

We cannot be shy and asked her to ask her teacher or wait for Aware to conduct the CSE. Then the moment will be lost.

Sex talk must be conducted in a loving environment and the best way is within the family.

Get this right. If we parents do not wise up to what is happening and continue to hide behind our Asian value or being shy, our children will learnt it from others, be they sexually challenged, normal, strait or bent.

Lets start from the very begining. Let start with us

Argumentum ad Populum (popular appeal or appeal to the majority): The fallacy of attempting to win popular assent to a conclusion by arousing the feeling and enthusiasms of the multitude also known as the "Bandwagon" fallacy where one attempt to prove a conclusion on the grounds that all or most people think or believe it is true.

There are several ad populum fallacy hanging in my tag right now. See if you can find them.

Sometime I myself also committe this fallacy.



By the way anal sex is not natural. It is against nature.

Nature intended it to be a plug and socket. Not plug and plug nor socket and socket.

It got nothing to do with religion.

If everyone of us in the society only practise anal sex, the entire species would be gone in one generation.

Sex is intended to be Procreative.

If nature intended us to be homosexual why not make just man or woman?

As long as those who are homosexual accept that they are not meant to be part of nature, I have no problem with them.

They are human, they have rights.

Just keep their choice to themselves.

Do not try to make it seems normal,ordinary or just a life style choice .

It is not.

The English philosopher Edmund Burke (12 January 1729 – 9 July 1797)said, ‘The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.'

Unfortunatley for all of us now living in this all inclusive world,
we encounter the following problems

1. What is evil? Who define what is evil? What is evil for you may not be evil for me.

2. Who define who is a good men? Once again, someone who is good in someone eye may be bad in another person eyes.

3.Do nothing. That is what the all inclusive camp wants all of us to do.

The word all inclusive is also a non existence term.

Because it is just not possible to include everyone as not every one will share the same value with you.

So how, when, where to draw a line?

Few dare to now for fear of being called or labelled Conservative, or extreme right or pushing or shovelling your value down others throat.

So you are reduced to do nothing.

Keep your mouth shut.

Accept the slipply slope.

Everyone is doing it so that will make it right.

Step by step, the all inclusive camp wants you to be numb

to be UNAWARE and then ....

‘The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.'

Go on.

do nothing.... shhh.....

let sleeping dog lie.....

doggy stlye....

Philosophy 101

Basic logic course

1)AWARE’s guide for trainers state that “anal sex — can be healthy and neutral if practised with consent and with a condom”

Substitute the taking of ice,Katemine and other life style drugs that is a norm in certain culture and you have

Taking Katemine can be healthy and natural if practised with consent.


2)Founding AWARE member and its first president, Lena Cheng, met with TODAY and said that the group had consulted religious groups, academics, social workers and teachers when they adapted the guide from the 25—year—old International Women’s Health Coalition, which promotes and protects girls’ and women’s sexual and reproductive rights and health. “We’re not some feminists who just thought this up,” she said.

Name three religious groups, academics, social workers and teachers

3) One trainer told TODAY, discussions are “very student driven”.
“We basically ask students, 'what’s your views?’ We don’t say anything, and let them hear all the different ideas... I only make sure everybody respects each other. We don’t believe in imposing any viewpoints,” she said.

Assume the discussion is not about sex but about killing your neighbour because he sings Kara OK of key every night. So the trainer let the students hear all the different ideas, the trainer only make sure everybody respects each other. The trainer do not impose his view point that it is wrong to kill another person. As long as students are given a chance to air their view it is o.k. It does not matter if after airing their view they go and kill the neighbour.

4)Some people derived pleasure from pain during sex. However, it is important that both party consent and are comfortable with it. (from http://inspirationfortoday.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/aware-20073.pdf from comprehensive sexuality education (c) Copyright of AWARE 2007)

So once again to take the logic of AWARE, if your child derived pleasure from taking drug with his friend, it is o.k. as long as both party consent and are comfortable with it.

To quote the gloved one

There comes a time when we heed a certain call when the world must come together as one......

In the esshold, we have this policy. Our children can ask us any question about sex when they are eight years old. We use words like penis etc and we do not hide the fact.

We have taken the mystery out of the topic of sex and to our children it is like other topics that we discuss at home.

We empower them by letting them know that if they want to engage in sex we cannot be there to stop them. So how do we develop good family values ? How do we develop this healthy view that only sex within marriage is the best ?

All we could do is to show them that sex within marriage is fun, healthy and cool.

Many a Sunday afternoon, we send them out of the bedroom and they would know that we do not want to be disturbed. Once, our eight years old happily told her friends in the park that her parents are having sex now.

Too often our children is bombarded with images of people having sex in all type of wrong situations. More parents should stand up and proclaim that "Yes we are having sex. Yes it is enjoyable and the best gift a father can give to his children is to let them see that he enjoys their mother's body."

Our body were made for each other to be enjoyed safely, satisfactory and sensually within the boundary and bondage ;-) of marriage.

True Beauty

Let me assure all men in Singapore that the behaviour of the women in Aware weather they are supporting the new ex-co or the old ex-co do not and I REPEAT do not represent even 1% of women and ladies in the world.

True ladies have quite confident in their power to persuade, motivate and inspire others without the need to scream, be impolite, boorish or even loutish.

True ladies offer a listening ear first, before allowing their mouth to proclaim judgement. They observe and choose the right path without beating their breast or burning their bra. More have been accomplished by women keeping their mouth shut then by opening them.

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." Abraham Lincoln

Case in point:
A mother observed at a wedding that there was not enough wine and that the bridegroom would have to handle an embracing crisis if nothing is done about it. She quietly inform her son who was displeased and told her it was not his business. Nonetheless, she never pushed her way and insisted on her demand. Instead she had faith that her concern would be looked into and instructed her servants to do whatever her son asked her to do.

There are examples of other women who have achieved much with poise dignity and grace. I would not encourage my daughters to be inspired by any of the behaviour of the women who were at the EOGM at Suntec City.

Yes, the old exco won but at the expense of the dignity of womanhood.

One small step for woman in AWARE but a giant back step backward for mankind. Sigh.

(The ess would continue to bring up her three daughters using Audrey Hepburn as a model. Their father would be glad.)

A silent wife is a gift from God. Sad to say not many woman are willing to or can offer this gift. Please note that being silent does not mean being pushed over, or bullied by man. Think about it before jumping to conclusion. A silent wife can be very powerful if only a woman knows how to use that power.