Saturday, June 27, 2009

Are you in my age bracket ?

I think I going to be sad, I think it today.

If the following evoke memories then you would have grown up with me in the 70's.

1. The Carpenter who sang the above lyrics. Which song is it? She died.

2. Of course there is MJ before Thriller and Bad. He sang "Ben" and I"'ll be there " when he was just a boy.

3. Then there is "Puppy Love" and "I am a little bit country and I am a little rock and roll." Another famous family group like MJ.

4. FF who died on the same day as MJ married the man I wanted to marry. However it will coast me more then six million dollars. A major disappointment.

5. Another singer who died so he cannot "Follow Me." Looks like he has followed others and "Fly away."

"I found my Thrill on Strawberry Hills" The one and only who could make the toilet looks cool.

I love these two. Any guess where were they working?

Soon it will be my turn to say good bye to this world. It can be less then 24 hours or in 24 years or even 42 years. Dose not matter. Don't cry for me (another famous Broadway musical before Madonna took it to the movies)

When you come to my wake, please have a loud jamming session with drums and songs. Celebrate that I was and still am luckily to have meet people like you and those who are reading my blog.

Meanwhile, I will live life to the fullest, focus on relationship and prepare to meet my maker.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Is 18 too young to be a mum?

Extracted from an article first published in The Straits Times 22.6.2009

Ms Tan Siew Kim, the mother of the baby who drowned last year, told The Straits Times she found becoming a parent at 18 overwhelming.

She declined counselling after the baby arrived because she saw 'no point to it' - with or without counselling, she was still saddled with a baby to care for. She felt it was 'not right' to give her child up for adoption, but could not give up her partying lifestyle at the weekend either.

It was while she was sleeping off a night of clubbing and drinking in May last year that her untended child toddled his way to the pail of water.

When Anicius was born, our maid was on home leave in the Philippine. I have to go back to work after two months of no-pay leaves. My eldest three children was a boy of 16, two girls of 15 and 13.

I left the new born Anicius in the care of these three children as they were home-schooled. I wanted them to learn how to care for a new born, how to bath, wash and feed Anicius with breast milk.

Of course their grandmothers yell high dungeon.

Even now when Anicius is going to be four years old, he is being cared for by the children. Sometime I feel more like a grandmother to my youngest son.

A note of advise to all potential parents and any teenagers who wants to have sex outside marriage.

A child is best conceived within a circle of love in a marriage as a child is not a trophy or a tax break.

Be prepared to give up your selfish, self centered life style which include computer games, partying lifestyle and msn cheat and blogging.

Sad to say many of the children that were conceived during one night stand or outside of marriage were conceived by people who have demonstrated no sense of responsibility to begin with.

They are conceived by people who are more interested in satisfying themselves first before giving any consideration to anyone else.

Conceiving a child do not make a person responsible overnight as Ms Tan case showed.

A message to all teenagers who are reading this blog:

Face it. You have the power to create life each time you have sex even if you use protection like condom and the pill.

Abortion is not an option as you will feel guilty for the rest of your life despite of what others told you. They have numbed their guilt.

If you can demonstrated your self-control and take time to choose the father of your children, I assure you would will not regret it.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Since I began teaching in 1986, facing tight deadlines and insurmountable paperwork – I often feel like throwing in the towel.

I soldier on, however, thinking of the crazy nuns who taught me in secondary stchool.

Sister Cecily Parvi - the brilliant biologist who nevertheless devoted herself to teaching rebellious teenagers.

Sister Christina Yeo - able to illuminate love when explaining “Midsummer Night's Dream” over our preferred “Man in the net.”

They touched my life. One gave me free tuition in English even though I was already studying in a government junior college.

Their dedication to teaching is unparalleled. Always supporting us; never motivated by bonuses, rank or even promotion as their earning are given to the convent. Our development was their focus.

When I feel like giving up, I remember these selfless nuns. I still cannot measure up to them. Yet that is why I remain a teacher, in the process of becoming an educator.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

A silent wife is a gift from God

On 11 June 1989, my husband made me an Ess.

It been twenty one years since I became one

Friends in my secondary school knew me as Ong Hock Lin.

When I became an Ess, I went to change my IC to officially be come Mrs France Ess.

I was not satisfy with the fashion at that time of combining two sur names together like Ong-Ess or Chai-Sim, Lum-Lan or even Lim-Chwee

I wanted to be to be known from then on as Mrs Ess.

Some has asked how did our marriage last for so long?

On my part, I find that the phrase " A silent wife is a gift from God" has helped throughout this journey.

Being silent does not mean being submissive, being bullied or being stepped upon.

Being silent is powerful as you demonstrate your discipline to know when to speak and when not to speak.

Being silent is graceful as you do not engaged in groundless gossip or distructive debate.

For example,on our wedding anniversary, I went and buy a bag Buah Keluak and cooked it with meat.

Any nonya worth her salt will claimed that Babi Buah Keluark
is a classic Peranakan dish.

So when my Eurasian Mil claimed that Buah Keluark is a Eurasian dish, I have two choices.

Keep my mouth shut and keep the peace or correct her and made her feel uneasy or even angry.

I judged that since it was just a matter of opinion and not a matter of fact, I decided to keep my mouth shut.

Aristotle the Greek philosopher commented that "Anyone can become angry. That is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way - that is not easy."

I was glad that I did not take the easy way out.

It helps that in a marriage we do not take the easy way out.

When we face a rough patch, it is easier to seek other distractions-- computer games, another listening ear, an affair.

When tempted to walk out of the marriage, it is easier to sign the divorce paper. Harder to face to the truth.

In any fight or quarrel, it is much easier to point the finger at your spouse then to reflect on your own shortfall.

I like being an ess. Some who read this blog will again get angry at my traditional values just as this blog stir up so many negative emotions three years ago when I suggested that to love is to obey.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Tank Man

Remember 1989 when spring beld into summer in Bejian Tiananmen Square?
The gathering of people turned in to waves chanting for change.

June 5th 1989. I was about to give birth to my first born son.

This image was splashed across the world.

No one knew his name.

Not many of my students understood the significance of what this man did.

A single man, standing up for truth.

A brave man, standing alone.

Putting his life on the line.

Would that I have the courage to be like him.

But we are called daily .....

to put our life on the line.

For the values we belief in

To stand tall

And not be afraid.

To be countered.

To be loved

To be free.

Ready to be Tank Man?

For more information please read

See this video

There is still hope.