Is 18 too young to be a mum?

Extracted from an article first published in The Straits Times 22.6.2009

Ms Tan Siew Kim, the mother of the baby who drowned last year, told The Straits Times she found becoming a parent at 18 overwhelming.

She declined counselling after the baby arrived because she saw 'no point to it' - with or without counselling, she was still saddled with a baby to care for. She felt it was 'not right' to give her child up for adoption, but could not give up her partying lifestyle at the weekend either.

It was while she was sleeping off a night of clubbing and drinking in May last year that her untended child toddled his way to the pail of water.



When Anicius was born, our maid was on home leave in the Philippine. I have to go back to work after two months of no-pay leaves. My eldest three children was a boy of 16, two girls of 15 and 13.

I left the new born Anicius in the care of these three children as they were home-schooled. I wanted them to learn how to care for a new born, how to bath, wash and feed Anicius with breast milk.

Of course their grandmothers yell high dungeon.

Even now when Anicius is going to be four years old, he is being cared for by the children. Sometime I feel more like a grandmother to my youngest son.


A note of advise to all potential parents and any teenagers who wants to have sex outside marriage.

A child is best conceived within a circle of love in a marriage as a child is not a trophy or a tax break.

Be prepared to give up your selfish, self centered life style which include computer games, partying lifestyle and msn cheat and blogging.

Sad to say many of the children that were conceived during one night stand or outside of marriage were conceived by people who have demonstrated no sense of responsibility to begin with.

They are conceived by people who are more interested in satisfying themselves first before giving any consideration to anyone else.

Conceiving a child do not make a person responsible overnight as Ms Tan case showed.

A message to all teenagers who are reading this blog:

Face it. You have the power to create life each time you have sex even if you use protection like condom and the pill.

Abortion is not an option as you will feel guilty for the rest of your life despite of what others told you. They have numbed their guilt.

If you can demonstrated your self-control and take time to choose the father of your children, I assure you would will not regret it.