8.4.1982

Manudary Thursday April 8 1982. It was the eve of Good Friday. My Ess and I were teenagers organizing a vigil where we were suppose to pray the whole night. This was because Jesus in the Gospel specifically asked his disciple to stay awake while he went to pray in the garden. However his disciples were tired and fell asleep three times.


At St Joseph's Church(P.M.) my ess asked f anyone would like to watch the sunrise at Fort Canning hill instead of praying in church. Only one "rackless" girl was crazy enough to follow an almost complete stranger up a dark hill.

That morning, the sun never rose. But we discovered that we could talk and listen to each other. Our friendship developed and over the seven years before we got married, there were many opportunities where we could engaged in a sexual relationship. If we did have less self control we would have a child who would be 28 years old now.

I have often wondered why we did not engaged in pre-martial sex. Was it the fear of God that was drummed into these SJI boys? Or was it that he was brought up as gentleman? Often my ess told me that he was tempered but chose not to.

I am so glad that we waited until we were ready and married before we enagegd in a sexual relationship. It is the deepest from of communication between two persons and saving ourselves for each other sever to show that we are disciplined and can be faithful.

Call me old fashion. Call me out dated. I know that many people who are reading this post do not find it wrong or unusual to engage in sex outside marriage. To them having sex is like asking someone to scratch your back. It is no big deal.

But it is a big deal. Sex can be absolutely selfish where one seek one's self satisfaction or sex can be the most beautiful experiences where both partners selfless give of oneself to the other, where the seeking of one's partner's satisfactions is above all else.

Some may argue that we can have sex in the unselfish way even when we are not married. But this cannot be so as sex outside marriage does not entail a committement.

It like the story of the hen and the pig. The hen lays an egg every morning but when the pig provide pork he is 100% committeed.


Come what may. I am gald that I took the change to walk up the hill with my ess. I took the chance and trusted him. I am glad he did not take that opportunity to thrust me.