BABY STEPS

Having a large family with more than five children seems to be an anomaly in Singapore.

My peers argue they cannot afford even to have one because childcare facilities and enrichment activities are expensive. Besides, the Government is not giving enough subsidies, tax relief and other incentives, they say.

One is adamant that she will bring up only one child and added, nonchalantly, that if she is caught with a second one, an abortion – a simple procedure, she thinks – will solve the problem.

Another friend advocates passionately against bringing a child into the world as it is an evil place.

It is difficult to convince people convinced of such arguments to have children, and it will be a Herculean task for any Government to try to persuade them otherwise. Providing more fiscal incentives will only be a futile effort.

But put a cute, cuddling, cooing baby into the arms of the most reluctant, anti-baby, anti-family person, and a subtle yet perceivable transformation happens to that person.

Often, a baby brings out one's caring instincts. The baby is so completely helpless that he will motivate you to take care of him. Soon, you begin to wonder if you too can have a baby to look after.

Once this biological maternal or paternal instinct is discovered and awakened, all the logical and rational objections to having a baby will soon be forgotten.

Skeptics will argue that this is a simplistic view and they will proclaim that they are immune to this malady.

They may be unwilling to admit this, but a baby in their arms will make them more human and more alive.

So for 2007, I would like to see more mothers offer their babies to be carried by their family, relatives and friends. Better still, offer them an opportunity to babysit your child while you take a well-deserved break.

Who knows – this temporary attachment might give birth to a desire for a baby of their own.

This article first appeared in TODAY on 3rd January 2007