RICHER BY THE HALF DOZEN

WHEN my mother discovered that I was going to give birth to my sixth child, she started a campaign of convincing me to give up my child for adoption as she judged that our financial resources would not be able to handle another child.

Immediately after I woke up from my Caesarean operation, my mother and two relatives spoke to me in jest about giving my baby to one of the relatives, as the baby would retain the same surname.

It was with utmost difficulty that I maintained my sense of humour.

The other day, as I was out having supper with my husband, I witnessed a pregnant woman feel her baby kicking in her womb. I must be crazy to desire another child, but I miss having an unborn child growing inside me.

In my third trimester, the baby would begin to communicate his needs to me. For example, if I sat in a particular way that made him uncomfortable, he would kick and move until I was in a better position.

Yes, many of my friends are taking bets on when our No 7 will be conceived — or when we will be able to transform our basketball team into a seven-a-side soccer team.

Mother Teresa of Calcutta once said that "it is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish".

Yes, once a child is born, it is difficult to live as I wish. I have always enjoyed travelling and, before I got married, would visit a different country each year. Now, with so many children, I cannot remember the last time I took a holiday.

I had planned to do my Masters 15 years ago when I had just two children. Four more kids later, that hankering after my intellectual dream is still strong.

One day, my eldest child commented that his parents would be very rich if we had just had him as an only child.

Yet, deep down, I know that I would be that much poorer if I were forced to give up any one of my children.

From my teenagers, I learn that there is nothing more important in life than to establish a relationship with another person.

From the baby, I learn that to do something well, I need to focus on a single aim. Watching my baby practise everyday at taking that first step fills me with energy anew to focus on a project at work.

By the baby too, I am reminded that there are still a lot more things in life that I have to discover, and that the joy of discovery is irreplaceable.

From my children, I learn that it is best to teach them only when they are ready to learn. Many parents have robbed their children the joy of learning because they force-feed their kids with all the enrichment courses they themselves wanted when they were young.

At the end of a hard day's work, nothing can replace the sound of small feet crawling with single-mindedness towards you. Except, of course, for the yelp of joy when your own baby recognises you in a sea of strangers.

Will we go for No 7? Yes and No. Yes, because we feel that the age gap between our sixth child and the rest is very wide and a seventh child would be a good playmate and soulmate for him.

No, because I am feeling my age and at this point in time, we feel that another child would stretch our financial resources even further.

Yet we do not use any form of artificial contraceptives like the pill, for health reasons. Neither have we taken up my mum's advice to sterilise ourselves, as we are still open to the gift of another child.

Irresponsible? Irrational? Or just fulfilling a human's highest calling to bring life to the world?