YOU’RE MY FAMILY

MY father was born in Malang, Indonesia, and my mother, a Chinese, in Singapore. My husband is a Portuguese/Dutch Eurasian. His mother is Anglo-Indian while his father came from a long line of Eurasians.

How do I classify my children? Are they considered Eurasian, since in Singapore children follow their father ’s race? In our family, we believe we belong to one race — the human race. We embrace the Singapore culture. We are equally comfortable eating curry out of banana
leaves and eating rice with chopsticks.

We celebrate Chinese New Year and Christmas with equal passion. Our children receive hong baos during Chinese New Year from their maternal grandparents and presents on Christmas from their paternal grandparents. During Qing Ming,we visit the Bright Hill Temple where the children ’s great-grandparents’ ashes are kept — and yet we consider ourselves Christian, praying in a church every Sunday.

Since 1998, Racial Harmony Day is celebrated in schools every year on July 21. Students are encouraged to explore and understand various cultural practices, heritage tours are conducted and traditional games like “five stones ” are played.

In 2002,the Ministry of Education (MOE)set up a Committee on Strengthening Racial Harmony in Schools to provide guidance to schools and help them share effective practices.

Yet in 2003,a National Institute of Education (NIE) survey found very little inter-racial mixing in schools. The survey found that most primary school children do not socialise across racial lines and tend to pick friends of their own race.

Why did this situation occur, since MOE and the schools have put in so much effort to promote racial harmony?

To find the answer, we need to look at another perspective. Our actions are influenced by how we think. And the home is the best place to foster the attitudes that we hold towards Singaporeans of other races.

When our children see their parents having friends from different religious backgrounds and races and when they see us willing to help fellow Singaporeans regardless of their race, language or
religion, it sends a powerful message.

When I was growing up in the 1970s, my family lived in Kampong Glam, one of the heartlands of the Malay community. Although we look upon ourselves as a Chinese family, we looked forward to celebrating Hari Raya Puasa. During the fasting month, I would run to Bussorah Street every afternoon to savour the delicious tidbits sold there. On the first day of Hari Raya, my father would give gifts to his Malay neighbour and visit their home. Our neighbour would reciprocate during Chinese New Year.

Sometimes, my grandfather would take our Malay neighbour ’s children to school when the parents were not free, and our neighbour in turn would babysit me when the need arose.

We were considered part of the community. While we were rooted in our own cultural practices, we were willing to participate in the activities of our non- Chinese friends. In this way, our attitudes and beliefs were moulded to accept Singaporeans of other races as part of our shared community.

Racial harmony cannot be promoted just one day a year during Racial Harmony Day. Participating in organized activity is only the beginning. Racial harmony needs to be fertilized constantly through open and honest communication. Any weeds of discontent must be pulled out immediately.

Will such a consistent and conscious effort guarantee that when Singapore is faced with a crisis we will stand by our compatriots? Only time will tell.

This article first appeared in TODAY on