Free Choice

We have been the laughing stock of many people when they discover that we have six children as it is very unusual for a family with professional working couple to have so many children.

Some who know a bit about natural planning would snigger and laugh at the failure of this method. Others mistake this method as the unreliable rhythm method.

When we were planning to get married, we decided to examine all possible option of family planning. Of course being in the Catholic Church, we were encouraged to consider the option of natural family planning (NFP).

After reading up on the various methods of family planning, we discovered that artificial birth control(ABC) like the pills, IUD and abortion have several side effects that are not usually presented to women and so many were not given an informed choices.

For example, if you accept the premises that life is conceived when fertilization takes place or at the moment of conception, then you will not consider the use of IUD. An IUD or Intrauterine Device is a small piece of plastic which contains either copper or the hormone progesterone. The IUD prevents pregnancy by many mechanisms including preventing fertilization of an egg by sperm or preventing implantation. This means that if conception does take place, the foetus is not given a chance to survive.

We also decided not to use the pill or condom because of the side effects associated with these form of contraception.

We finally decided on the natural family planning method not because the Catholic Church said so but because it does not have any side effect. It does not harm the man nor the woman’s body and best of all this form of family planning ensure that we have a healthy sex life.

After practicing NFP for the past twenty years, I can safely says that this method has contributed to ensure that we are constantly and consistently attracted to each other sexually.

You see, sex is like eating durian. Many of us love the taste of durian and the first bite is the most exquisite. Yet after eating five or six durians, the law of diminishing returns set in and you begin to get tired of the durian. However, if you pace yourself and do not stuff durian down your throat then your desire for durian will last a long time.

It is the same with sex. If you can have sex anytime, anywhere and any how, the sense of excitement will diminish over the years. Often a woman using ABC would feel that she is nothing more then a sex object existing just to satisfy the man.

With NFP, we are trained to identify the period when a woman is fertile and so we can exercises the option not to have sex during this period so that we do not conceive. During this period of waiting, our sexual passion is simmering like a good pot of stew slowly stewing over a fire. When the fertile period is over, it is fun time. We can enjoy sex freely without the worry of any health concern or side effects that ABC brings.


With NFP, I am assured that my husband do not use me as a sexual object to satisfy his animal instinct as he is called to scarify during the period when I am fertile. By this action, he also assure me that the chance of his having affair is not high as he is given the opportunity to discipline his sexual appetites. Because we have to wait for the infertile periods to have sex, our sexual desire increases for each other.

Far from restraining our sex life, NFP if practiced with the appropriate attitude, free us from behaving like animal. Instead NFP has helped to keep the passion of fire burning for the past twenty years.

If you do not believe me, just ask anyone who is using ABC if they and see if their sex life is still so exciting after twenty years with the same person.