Keep the Door Wide Open

WHEN gunman Cho Seung-Hui massacred 32 people at the Virginia Tech campus, many things went through my mind.

The one thought that has nagged me this week is how we welcome new immigrants into our society.

With Singapore's ageing population and the birth rate well below replacement level, we have heard all too often the need for an open-door policy.

After all, immigrants help to increase our gene pool, bring additional investment into our economy and contribute to economic development.

Moreover, with Singapore promoting itself as an educational hub, we can expect more immigrants at all strata of society.

A few weeks ago, my brother was watching a football match in which his 11-year-old son was playing. My brother was angry as the other school had fielded a foreign student who was as big as an adult to play in a primary school football game. But we found out that as long as the student is not above 14 years old, he is allowed to represent the primary school.

How should a parent and even local students respond to such an incident? Should they accept it as part of a representation of society? Or should there be a system in place where competition should be on a level playing field?

It is a well-known fact that many schools have been importing foreign talent to boost their sports teams and increase their chances of performing well in competitions. This has often discouraged locals like my nephew who have to play against those who are bigger, older or stronger than they are.

We can argue that this is a part of life and it is a good preparation for the workplace where we have to compete with foreign talent.

However, if the competition is not seen as fair and just, a sense of resentment will build up among the locals, and soon a culture may come about where immigrants are not made to feel welcome.

Though immigrants have become a part of the local community, perhaps there is still a need for new ways to promote a sense of belonging among the foreign talent that is flowing into Singapore.

We must not forget that our society was established by immigrants from all over the world. When Sir Stamford Raffles set up the trading post of Singapore, he made an effort to welcome people from all walks of life, recognising that this is the fastest way to establish a vibrant society. We must keep this in mind as we make an effort to welcome new immigrants.

When they speak with a different accent, when they show different tastes in food and clothing, when they express their culture in ways that are different from ours — we should accept them with an open heart, nor hurt them with words such as "go back to your homeland".

Neither should we talk behind their backs, complaining about unfair competition and unjust treatment.

Instead, we should welcome them with open arms for they offer insights and experiences that we might not be able to have if they were not here to interact with us.

Without the enriching presence of immigrants, we Singaporeans would be like frogs living in a well, unable to see beyond the narrow confines of our homes.

As for my nephew and my brother, all I can say to them is: Welcome to the world of globalisation where competition only rewards those with talent and ability. The presence of the foreign student will only encourage us to work harder and enhance our capacity to play better in the next game.

How uninteresting life in this country would be if there were no foreigners to spur us on to work harder, better and smarter.

This article first appeared in Today on 24.4.2007
The writer is a mother of six who looks forward to having her children forge friendships with people from all over the world.
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Where's that much-touted friendliness?
Letter from Jenom James Nyam published in TOday on 2.5.2007

I agree with Ms Frances Ong's unbiased opinion in "Keep the Door Wide Open" (April 24), which solemnly urged Singaporeans to be more receptive and accommodating of foreigners.

In doing research about Singapore before applying to study here, I found the welcoming attitude of Singaporeans proudly publicised on all the websites that I sought information at.

I also recall the famous smiling face of the Singapore Girl aired periodically on Cable News Network (CNN) and the Four Million Smiles of last year's World Bank/IMF Meeting.

I had heard and read about Singapore's place in international circles as Asia's crossroad of colours, cultures and civilisation — much like the reputations the United States and Switzerland enjoy. What the trio are reputed to have in common is their ability to accommodate almost everybody, regardless of their background.

This was why I chose to come to Singapore.

However, after reading Ms Ong's piece, I helplessly found myself supporting her views based on the contrasting reality that I've met with since coming here in August last year.

For the past eight months, the much-touted friendliness and warmth has been hardly anywhere to be found. It is sad that I have had the privilege of seeing faces genuinely smiling at me only on a very few occasions.

Singaporeans should remember that the foreigners and tourists to Singapore are non-commissioned ambassadors of the land.

If Ms Ong's surname was Toh, I would have guessed that she was the mother of Geraldine — a Singaporean who once surprised me in a library by stirring up a meaningful conversation with me, despite my non-Asian looks.

For a dark-skinned foreigner from Nigeria who cannot in all honesty boast of being socially accepted by society in Singapore, it was a brief moment of respite.

Ms Ong's challenge to her compatriots is a candid charge for change.
Letter

I am woman hear me roar

The recent visit of Dr. Margaret Chan the Director General of WHO who said that Singapore is her second home made me reflect on the following issues.

What do Nancy Pelosi and Margaret Chan have in common?


Apart from the obvious fact that they are women, they share the following characteristics. They are all above 50 years old, and they are contributing actively to society.

Nancy Pelosi at age 66 and a mother of 5, is the 60th and present speaker of the United States House of Representatives which makes her the highest-ranking woman in the US government. She is also the first woman in U.S. history to hold this office

Dr. Margaret Chan at age 60 is the Director General of the World Health Organisation.(WHO). She was the first female in Hong Kong to head the Department of Health and left after 25 years of service to join the WHO.

This brings to mind another famous Dr. Margaret Chan, who breath life into the character Emily of Emeral Hill. At the age of 52 she obtained her PHD and 4 years later she embarked on a new career as a faculity member at the Singapore Management University.

No, this is not another femanist article about how women have managed to break the glass ceiling or that they have managed to break into the stratified world of men.

What strick me was that these are woman who are married, have managed to bring up children and yet at an age where many are contented to retire they have embarked on new careers that challenge their comfrt zone.

I have met several highly educated stay-at-home mum who have taken the courages step to stop climbing the career ladder for a while to bring up their children.

Sometime they will be hit with insecurity and worried that they will nt be able to enter the market once their children have grown up. At other the times, they worried that all their education have been wasted as they spend their time driving their children from schools to enrichment classes and back home.

Yes agesim do exist as expamlified by Dr Chan when she tried to apply for a universtiy post at another local university.

But these three women gave us who are aged forty and above hope. Many stay-at-home mum will start to look for jobs when they are around this age. Like Dr Chan, they must be willing to start work at the entry level or low level. Dr. Chan, armed with a Phd, started work at SMU teaching remedial English. After 10 months she was promoted based on her performance. Later she was promoted to a fully fledged faculity member.

Breast milk for Sale

Anicius had to be in the ICU right after he was born.


Mamafess breastfeeding no.six while he was in ICU.

The recent case of a poor mother from the Chinese countryside hired to breastfeed an affluent city-dweller’s baby has brought memories of the first time I breastfeed my eldest son seventeen years ago. My husband and I have read that breast milk was most suitable for a baby and as a mother, I was eager to give my son the best. Luckily, I was able to produce a lot of milk. By the third month, I have managed to freeze about twenty (9 oz) bottles to be kept for future use.

At that time, one of my friends had just adopted a child called Vincent. As he was allergic to soya and cow milk, he could only drink breast milk. There was an urgent called to ask for donation of breast milk and his father became the milkman of Singapore as he went all over Singapore collecting breast milk for his adopted son. We contributed as much as we could spare. I remembered that on his first birthday, his adopted parents invited all the mothers who have contributed to a big birthday party. If my memories served me well, over fifty mothers, regardless of race or religion, came forward to help baby Vincent. It was an unforgettable sight to see so many bottles of frozen breast milk. None of us were paid but the smile of Baby Vincent was priceless.

Now that professional wet nurses have appeared in many cities across China due to rising incomes and a demand for healthy milk, it has started a fierce debate over the ethics of the ancient art of wet nursing. Many object to the fact that some mothers are unwilling to nurse babies because they hope to maintain a slender figure. Of course there is the grey area when mothers are unable to nurse because they either do not have milk or suffer from infectious diseases. Although the wet nurses claimed that they are only providing an economic service and thus are justified to be paid, some worried that this would deprive the wet nurse own child from having the benefit of breast milk.

Is this a case of exploitation of the poor by the children of rich parents? How do we price a bottle of breast milk? What about the health of the wet nurse? How does one determine the quality of the breast milk? Is there a co-relationship between the nutrition in-take of the wet nurse and the quality and quantity of breast milk? Would some women be treated like cows whose sole existence are to produce breast milk for other children?

In Singapore, as more women become educated about the benefit of breast milk, they would be motivated to breastfeed their children. Would there come a day when a mother who could not or would not breastfeed take the easy road and pay for a wet nurse? How would CASE response to such a case? Would the AVA authority steps in and consider the wet nurse as part of primary production?

Just as we do not allow the sale of blood or organ, we should not allow the sale of breast milk for by doing so we would treat the body as a commodity. All donation of breast milk should consider as gift so as to preserve the dignity of the human spirit. If we do not make a firm stand against the sale of breast milk be it from a wet nurse or from a bottle, we would soon find it acceptable to trade in blood, organ, sperm and egg.

Ready for sex?(author's title)

By Aubrey Ess

Recently, the case of a nine-year-old mother was in the news. While only in Primary Three, this girl had already had sex with her boyfriend many times, behind her parents' back.

During her pregnancy, she had to cope with all the hassles of having a baby: morning sickness, labour pains, not to mention any social stigma she would have had to face. Her studies and social life would also have suffered.

This is a sad case of how not only the experience, but also when one starts having sexual intercourse, can change one's life drastically.

When I was eight years old, my parents began to answer every question I had about sex. It was a decision that many parents would probably be shocked at. However, just as the timing of engaging in sexual relations is important, so is the timing of when one starts learning about the birds and the bees.

The subject will have to be taught at one point or another, because every person faces it sooner or later. Teenagers are faced with the question of having premarital sex, married couples are united through sex, and even priests who refrain from sex have to handle temptation.

I believe that such an integral part of our lives should be explained fully by our parents, so that we are prepared to handle it.

The only question is, when? During pre-school, when we are still playing with blocks and dolls? During Primary School, when we are more aware of our surroundings, and being instilled with the values of good and bad? Or during Secondary School, when we enter our teenage years, and a life far more hormonal, independent, and questioning than ever before?

Now, I have a little brother approaching his eighth birthday. When my parents told him about his "asking about sex" opportunity, his eyes lit up in exactly the same way as mine did. "Really? Okay then — mummy, daddy, can I know about sex?" the eight-year-old — intelligent but inexperienced, delighted at learning about a mysterious word, unaware yet of the profound effect it will have on his life — asked, before bursting into laughter. It was the same with me.

Perhaps at the age of eight we were not yet responsible enough to grapple with a topic like sex. After all, give one too much information too soon, and one could do regrettable things with it.

Yet my parents never simply spilled the beans. At eight, I asked questions like "what". As I grew older, and matured into my teenage years, my questions also matured into those like "when", "should" and "with whom". Also, as I asked my various questions, they revealed deeper, related things about sex that I had not even been able to comprehend.

Besides giving me factual information, my parents also made clear the dangers, precautions, religious views, and exclusiveness of sex — the basic dos and don'ts, so that I was also brought up with a moral idea of what sex should be.

Being ready to learn about sex is not about one's age. It is about whether your child is already dipping his toes into the ocean, already taking the step of finding out. When that happens, he is going to learn to swim no matter what, no matter how long it takes, simply because his curiosity pushes him on.

It is at this point that parents should teach their child about that "S" word, that subject that may make them blush or stutter, that very thing which their own child is facing.

It is wonderful that my parents are willing to be open with such a sensitive subject, so that I do not have to find out through a book, TV show, or even through actual intercourse with someone else.

The writer is a 16-year-old student. She one of the daughters of MOS.

Butterfly effect

According to the Ministry of Trade and Industry press release on 10th October 2006, advance estimates showed that Singapore’s real Gross Domestic Product (GDP) rose by 7.1 per cent in the third quarter compared to the same period in 2005. On a quarter-on-quarter seasonally adjusted annualized basis, real GDP grew by 6.0 per cent, compared with a 3.4 per cent expansion in the preceding quarter. This is a healthy sign that our economy is doing well and that our economic growth is on target.

However, before we start to get ready to pop the champagne or expect a bigger year end bonus, we have to consider this.

Using the GDP as an indicator of development has been considered as inadequate as this place excessive emphasis on purely economic aspect of development.

Ecologist, environmentalist and some economists have begun to advocate the concepts of sustainable development, which encompasses the trinity of social, environment and economic concerns.

Can the pursuit of economic growth be compatible with sustainable development? Is there a need to sacrifice some of today’s economic growth to meet the needs of other people and those of our children in future? Will economic growth bring about a strong and healthy society existing within environmental limits?

Before we consider these weightier issues, let consider how we take care of the environment we live in.

Firstly, an appeal to dogs’ owner. It would be great to pick up your dog’s poo when you walk your dogs. By leaving the dog’s poo alone, other people are given the opportunity to step on it which is an event that they do not appreciate very much. Moreover, it shows that the dog owner do not give due consideration to other users of the park.

Secondly, an appeal to cat lovers who took it upon themselves to feed the stray cats all over Singapore. Do ensure that the pellets of cat food are not left for the ants and rats to part-take too.

Thirdly, an appeal to Singaporean not to spit indiscriminately as the spit may contain air-born germs that might spread disease to others.

The above three examples show that we do not take the environment as our own private personal space and so we will do what we please when we please with the environment. For example, would we allow our dog to shit all over our living room? What about spitting in our bedroom?

We seldom do so as we want to keep the environment we live in clean. Thus we all have this mentality that it is o.k. to dirty environment that does not belong to us. Witness us behaving as environment terrorist in Johore Bahru.

We need to change the way we approach the environment. In the chaos theory, the buttery effect is used to describe how small difference or changes in a dynamical system may produce large variations in the long term behaviour of the system. The idea is that a butterfly’s wing might create tiny changes in the atmosphere that eventually cause a tornado to develop.

This concept might be difficult to comprehend or believed until we realized that a single match that was lighted has caused the haze that enveloped us for the past three weeks.

Dog’s poo, cat food, fool’s spit. Small changes, just like the flapping of a butterfly wings. We seldom pause to think how these might affect other people or events. Worst, we do not realize that these changes might in the end cause others events to occur that might harm us in the end.

Small action. Can we realize in time that ultimately we are responsible for all the environmental problems that have been plaguing us for the past few years?

Deadly Mistakes

It is expected that doctors will do their best to protect the well being of their patients. However, the health care system that they function in is a complex one where the possibility for them to make mistakes is abundant. Unlike other professions like in accounting, law, engineering and even education, where mistakes made need not necessary be fatal, often when doctors make mistakes, they are lethal. Two recently cases highlighted in the press support this hypothesis

Firstly, at the coroner’s inquest into the death of Madam Koh At Tow, 88, it was decided that a series of mistakes made at Clementi Polyclinic in March last year caused her death. The doctor had prescribed the wrong dose of heart medicine and was given four times the dose which was not picked up at the pharmacy.

Secondly, Mr. Tan Beng Kiat, 30, on June 21 had a severe headache. He was given painkiller by the general practitioner but the medication did not help. He was send to Tan Tock Seng Hospital where he was also diagnosed as having a headache. The attending doctor decided that there was no need to do a scan or have him hospitalized. He was send home with more painkillers. That evening he fell into coma and was pronounced brain dead by doctors at Singapore General Hospital. He was taken off live support and was pronounced dead later.

We seldom expect nor accept medical errors but they do account for some hospital injuries and deaths. To many, it is acceptable as long as it does not happen to us or our love ones. This is because medical mistake is avoidable and the adverse injury caused as a result is due to medical mismanagement and not due to the underlying medical condition of the patient.

While it is all too easy for society to blame the doctor and the concerned doctor in turn may become defensive and blame the nurse, the hospital, the work load and even the system for the mistake, we need to re-examine how doctors and society handle medical errors.

Is it true that good doctors never make mistake? Are doctors always right? At what stage of our medical conditions should we seek a second opinion? What do we do if what we are experiencing do not aligned with what the doctor is diagnosing? What do doctors do when they make medical mistakes? Do they hide them or worst bury them?

Do doctors share with their colleague, peers and junior doctors their adverse mistakes or are they afraid that if they do they would be inundated with malpractice suit?

An old adage extolled that a wise man learns from fools’ mistake. Do our doctors learn from each other mistake for the sake of the patients?

Perhaps it is time to move from a culture of blame and shame to a culture of share and care.

We have to share our experiences and mistakes so that processes, checks and balances can be put in places so that similar medical mistake can be reduced or eliminated.

For instance, in the first case, the National Healthcare Group (NHG) has introduced additional processes in the system so as to reduce the risk of patients getting a wrong dose of medicine. Now a senior doctor is required to countersign any changes in the dosage of some toxic medicine and an electronic prescription system will alert doctors to a patient’s drug allergies. The family of Madam Koh At Tow has decided not to pursue the matter with the doctor concerned as they did not wish to destroy the doctor’s career.

But how would society view her mistake? Would we bring ourselves to entrust her with our medical conditions? What about herself? Would she be able to re-gain or re-built her confidence? It would be a waste of resources, time and effort if she is unable to overcome this current event.

We should encourage doctors who made mistakes to learn from them and move on to continue their good works. After all they are human too.

However, if the doctors are found to be negligent or fail to show due diligent in their performance of duty, the full extent of the law should be weight down upon them and taken to task.

The difficult task is for us to discern the difference between these two.

Mustafa Shopping Centre

The other night, we were shopping at Mustafa Shopping Centre for a formal dinner function. We were surprise that we could find Chinese Chong Sum as easily as good quality Sarong from Indonesia. Of course there were large selections of good Sari. Punjabi suit and Indian salwar kameez yet there was an impressive range of formal coat and Western Suit.

This created a lasting impression on me because I noted that there was equal emphasis on clothes from the four main races in Singapore. It might be argued that these selections were motivated solely based on economic reasons. Yet in a way, it reflected the state of racial harmony that has been cultivated in Singapore. We are comfortable in wearing each other ethnic clothes and increasingly more Singaporean are adopting these ethnic clothes that do not necessary reflect their own race.

Thus, when my Eurasian daughters and my Indonesian maid wore the Chong Sum to the dinner while I wore a Baju Kurung, we only receive complements.

However, when I was attending an in service course on multi-culturalism, Prof Rahil Ismail of the National Educational Education (NIE) asked if we can see beyond the three Fs of fashion, food and festivals when it comes to promoting racial harmony in Singapore.

This might be a question worth asking as we have been celebrating Racial Harmony Day in July since 1998. Normally schools would try to promote understanding among the races by encouraging students to wear different ethnic clothes, tasting different food or watching cultural performances.

In addition, to grow the common space and deepen inter-racial understanding, Inter-Racial Confidence Circles(IRCC) for the constituencies and “Harmony Circles”(HCs) for schools, work places and other local organizations have been organized since January 2002. They are meant to be casual, self-evolved group with the aim of providing a platform for Singaporean from different races and religion to interact and to get to know one another better in the hope that confidence, friendship and trust can be cultivated.

Is this sufficient for us to maintain racial and religious harmony? While appreciating that the structure has been put in place, we as individual has to play an active role.

A recent 15-country poll by the Pew Research Centre for the People and the Press indicated that there is a deep divide between Muslim and the West. Muslim generally views Westerners as selfish, immoral and greedy while Americans and Europeans view Muslims as arrogant, violent and intolerant.

Would a similar poll done in Singapore surfaced similar view? And if it does, could we as individual help to dispel these stereotypes? Even if similar views are not found is it time for us to pat our back for a job well done in the area of racial and religious relationship? What can we do to ensure that these types of view do not grow secretly in our heart?

What has happened in the past does not necessary means that it will continue in the future. Thus, we can never take the racial harmony that we have enjoyed for the past forty years for granted.

One possibility is to view ourselves as human first. This means that we will come to the aid of our fellow being regardless of his race, language or religion. We must treat each other with dignity and must have the courage to stop any conversation that disparage, debase or demean any race. In addition, we should look upon our foreign domestic help and worker with kindness. We should come to their help when they are in trouble and treat them with kindness.

While shopping at Mustafa that same night, I met a Muslim lady that was completely veiled except for her eyes. It invoked an unfounded and illogical fear in me. The following day, I asked my good friend, a learned Muslim woman about my fear. She could explain to me with confident the rational for the way Muslim woman should dressed. I am glad that I have that conversation with her as it helped me to dispel my fear and prejudices.

We have to play an active role to consistently and consciously work on eradiating out our stereotypes that we have of other people. None of us can claimed that we do not have them but it is what we do with them that makes a difference between living in harmony or in fear.

To post or not to post

How do you feel when you read about Mongolian model Altantuya Shaarriibuu being killed on the outskirts of Kuala Lumpur? Or that Thammasat University students in Thailand mocked ousted premier Thaksin with an effigy of him with a forked tongue as Singapore’s Merlion? What about the latest juicy details of excesses as the NKF civil suit unfolded in court?

Why do we read the news at all? So that we have something to contribute at the water-cooler in the office, or perhaps there’s something interesting to upload on our blog to capture eyeballs?

What happened if the above three news event were recorded on real time with phone cam instead of presented as news articles to be read? Would it serve to satisfy our voyeuristic nature?

Now that most of us have mobile phones that can take video clips, and with facilities like YouTube around, many will be tempted to upload incidents which we think might interest others.

With broadband being made available all over Singapore, computing is progressing beyond the desktop to something we do on the move 24/7. It has become so ubiquitous that online is now merging with offline, with us having access to the net constantly. We can stay connected with portable, wireless, handheld gadget so that at any moment, we can create and disseminate news.

If you are a regular visitor to YouTude you might have come across the sexy, handsome professor from NTU bemoaning that students were suppose to give feedback about his teaching instead of declaring their love for him.

You might even sympathise with the Hong Kong Bus Uncle who had a metaphysical discussion on the proper behaviour of using handphone in the bus.

But where do we draw the line between human decency and playing part-time vigilante?
For some of us, there’s a sense of power when what we upload on the new media draws a reaction, or perhaps even a policy change by the authorities.

But what happens when you witness a crime unfold in front of your eyes, or when you see someone performing an indecent act – or an act that is simply unacceptable to you?

The other day, I was doing my work at a cafe, when I saw two teenage girls French kissing passionately every few minutes while pretending to study. I was tempted to videotape their next exchange, when I stopped myself and asked the following questions.

Why did I feel upset? What was wrong with the scene I was watching? Would I feel the same were it a boy and a girl? And why was I so intent on putting it up on Youtube? Was it meant to further an agenda of mine, or just to share something I’d seen with others?

Recently two teenagers were caught having sex in the bus on the phone cam. What set me thinking was not why the teenager did what they do. Rather, I was concerned with the purpose of the person who used the phone cam to tape the event.

What happens if it was a life and death situation? Would he continues to tape the event in the name of recording news or would he stops and helps the victim? Did it satisfy his lust for power when he put the tape up on the net for the rest of the world to see?

News-gathering no longer rests on the mainstream professional like reporters, journalist and broadcasters. It is a fact that these days, “news” can be reported by anyone with a hand phone and broadband access.

How do we handle such power? It is more than a twitch of our thumb to send an SMS, or the click of the mouse to upload the information. The information that we upload will have an impact on others as well as the newsmaker. We have to take them into consideration in our action. What purpose will it serve? Will it destroy their life? Will it bring about changes that will improve their life?

Who should police such power? Perhaps we can trust humanity and believe that decency and self-discipline will ensure that the new media would not degenerate into a cess pool. Or should the law should be changed so that individual privacy can be protected? What about the rights of owner of the phone cam? Is his right violated if he is prevented from putting up on the net whatever he fancy? Should the freedom given to speech now include freedom to blog, to upload video clip and to podcast?

Perhaps we should not be so trigger happy when we plan to upload any news on the net without the permission of the newsmaker. A bit of caution and reflection is always preferable to throwing caution to the wind as we wait to see how this power is managed by society.

One out of twelve

My colleague was working as a lawyer last July, when she decided to throw in the towel and follow her dreams to be a teacher. We were curious as to why she gave up a high paying career and asked her for the reasons.

She answered that she did not want to be a lawyer but her academic result was good enough for her to qualify. Her parents encouraged her to go into the law profession even though she has no interest in it. After practicing law for a few years to satisfy her parents’ wish, she decided to do what she feels is her calling. She is much happier now.

Now that the O level results have been released, I wondered how parents will advise their children, who have taken the O level exam last year, about the next step in their academic career.

Would they be ashamed of their child if they failed to get the required 5 O level credits and thus avoid visiting relatives during Chinese New Year period? Or would they insist that their child go to a top junior collage even though the child wants to pursuit the poly route?

Some parents advised their children to go to the junior collage not because it is in the interest of the child but because they would be able to boast about it at the office. Others live their dream through their children and insist that they take up profession that their child has no interest in at all. Some still harbous prejudices against students in the art streams, or students who wants to pursuit drama, music or fashion.

Students with ‘O’ level results can now submit their applications under both the Joint Admissions Exercise and the Joint-Polytechnic Special Admissions Exercise. This is conducted annually by the Ministry of Education (MOE) to allow students who have sat for the O level examination to apply for admission to courses offered by junior colleges, Millennia Institute, polytechnics and the Institute of Technical Education. They are given until 4.00 p.m. on Wednesday, 14 February 2007 to register for the JAE. Students are given up to twelve options to put on their application form.

How would students selection these options? Will they go to a junior college because their friends are going to the same junior college? Or would they prefer a polytechnics course because they do not have to wear school uniform? Will they be pressurized by their parents to do a course that they do not like? Or will they be doing a course because they think is prestigious?

For many students, choose a course for tertiary education would be the first major decision that they make in their life. This should not be taken lightly and frivolously. An informed choice is better than a choice made in haste.

The decision should be based on the student’s interest, his talent, and his academic ability.
My daughter will be selecting her options and make her decision soon. She has visited several polytechnics and visited several websites of institute of higher learning.

On several occasions, I was tempted to maneuver her to choose a particular course that I want her to do. Sometime when she was exploring options that I do not agree with, I have to learn to bit my tongue and see her rational for her choices before I give her advise and opinions.

It is difficult to trust my daughter as a thinking rational adult who can make good decision. Sometimes, I still see her as my cute, cuddly seven years old.

But all too soon, she has blossom into a teenager soon to be an adult. I guess I must learn to let go and let her make some of life mistake, decisions and choices by herself now.

Note: She gave her mother a heart attack when she only put down one choice when given twelve options. One can only guess why she took such a step.

RK House -No Pork

One night, one of my children let me hear a sound file entitled “RK House – No Pork”. Apparently the recording was a copy cat of the film Borat. It featured some boys visiting a famous prata shop in Serangoon Garden. The boys consistently asked for pork when placing their order knowing that the shop was a halal one. The aim, I supposed was to make the shopkeeper angry and secretly record his angry respond.

While my children were laughing at the conversation that was taking place in the sound file, my husband and I was worried about the consequence that this sound file will have. After the laughter had died, we instructed them not to pass the sound file nor share it with their friends, as we felt that the boys in the sound file had shown disrespect to our Muslim community.

I was watching one episode of the show, The Arena, where the topic discussed was “Don't try to be funny! Our society does not encourage a sense of humour.”

There are many ways to encourage a sense of humour in our society. Having taken part in many humorous contests in the Toastmaster circle, I have come to realized that humour if handled well, will bring more then a knowing smile to the listener. But handled incorrectly and it will hurt especially when the joke is made at the expense of others.

When I make a humorous speech, I always try to make sure that the materials I used are used to laugh at myself. It shows that I do not take myself too seriously. This makes others more comfortable with me. Therefore, it should be alright for me to make joke about my pleasantly plum figure but I do not make fat joke about other people.

Drawing a line between acceptable and unacceptable humour does not mean that our society does not encourage a sense of humour.

I remembered a local cartoonist, George Noris wrote a cartoon book entitled “Hello Chok Tong, Goodbye Kuan Yew. “ It was a ground breaking book when it was published in 1991 as it tried to make us laugh at ourselves. He was pushing the boundary but with a sense of responsibility. It was courageous of him to explore the limit and he confessed in that book that many publishers were not willing to embark on that project because they felt that he was touching on a taboo subject.

However, in this case, I feel that the boys have oversteps their boundary. They cannot claime that the tape was made in the name of humour and entertainment as the laughter was gain at the expense of making another person looks bad.

One teenager posted her video response to the tape on Youtube praising the boys for having the gut to make such a video, for doing a good job and that she looks forward to more such production.

Like many teenagers, she sees only the entertainment value of the tape without considering the impact that such a tape would have on others.


There are three kinds of impact that any mass media will have on the audience. --- the intended explicit impact, and the unintended impact Here, I believe that the intended impact explicit was to have fun, make a joke and be entertained. The unintended impact however, is that it might have hurt the feeling of those who are being made fun of.
In this era where anyone and everyone can easily make sound file, video file and
Pod cast, there is a need for all of us to be aware of the consequence of our action.




This article was not published.