A warning to all sweet young thing out there

This is a warning for all sweet young thing out there who think that they can get away by claiming to be young and innocent. You are not.

You have been taught never to take a toy away from your playmate when you are in kindergarten. You have been punished by the discipline master if you are caught stealing from your friends when you are in secondary school.

Therefore, under no circumstances should you even consider taking the husband away from a married woman. That is stealing, that is cheating and ultimately, if your man is a good man, he will not settle for less. He will not go with the theft.

A good wife will stand by her man.....

even if he prefers watching EPL to going to her mother's house for reunion dinner,

even if he spend more time washing his car then giving her a sponge bath

even if he lost his mind for a while and go for some sweat young thing.

Ultimately, a great wife would know how to win her husband back.

She will give him the freedom and space to fly knowing that he will fly home to her.

And when he asked for forgiveness, she will not rub it into this face and demand ridiculous amount of compensation.

A great wife would be able to handle the hurt her husband has inflicted on her and help her remorseful husband to rebuilt his family and his life.

Remember, she has vowed to take him for better or for worst.


Sadly not many women and be a great wife. Sadly not many women actually love their husband unconditionally.


To all the China song birds who are eyeing my husband, be warned.

My heroes. Most of them have died.

Growing up in the 70's were fun. I was allowed to watch television when men were heroes and women were ladies.

The man I fell in love with the Six Million Dollar man. He was strong with bionic powers. He always used it to save his country or his friends.








Next was Micheal Landon. Not only was he a great actor, he was also a good producer, producing good movies and television series with sound moral values.

Who can forget him as Charles Ingalls, a struggle farmer in the Western frontier, loving but firmly bring up his three children?








And finally there is Jack Lord, as Steve McGarrett, the one who solve criminal cases and always asking his side kick to "Book Them."







In the 70's issues are clear. You are either the bad guys or the good guys. You cannot be both.

I just watched finished a movie called Wanted where the role of the assassin is celebrated and the good guy is actually the bad guy who is actually the good guy.


Yes life was less complicated during the 1970's TV land. How I long to go back to these time.


At least the values that were formed by watching Television series were good values like honour, respect and consideration.

What do we have now? Footballers and golfers who lack self disciple off the sporting arena and sport athletics who only run for the money with honey on their side.


Now do you know why there are no free to air t.v or cable in the esshold?

You have been warned.

Before you sign that paper

Another one bite the dust.
Bred and Angelina.

Will they ? Or will they not?

When you have six children like they and we do, divorce should not be an option.

When a couple break up, it is never just between the the husband and wife.

They are also a father and mother to their children.

When a couple divorce, they rip the children apart.

Their children is torn between the father and mother. It is impossible to separate the two.

If you mix a spoonful of Milo with a spoonful of sugar, you can still separate the two.

However, once hot water is added, the milo is made. Not at all possible to spilt up the milo from the sugar and water.

So if you are planning to walk out of a marriage, remember the Milo is already made.

I wrote a letter in response to an article I read in Today.

I REFER to "My son deserves a second chance" (Jan 6).
My two children were home schooled up to their O-levels. They did well enough to qualify for a polytechnic.

In 2008, while my son was doing his third-year Diploma in New Media in Republic Polytechnic and my daughter was doing her second year in Mass Communication in Temasek Polytechnic, he suggested that they take their A-levels as private candidates.

I was worried that they could not handle this in addition to their poly studies, but they went ahead.

They signed up for English Literature and Geography at A-level and General Paper and Maths at AO level, and studied using the syllabus available from the Singapore Examination and Assessment Board.

Half-way through, they dropped Geography and Maths because of the heavy workload at the polytechnics. They took Literature and General Paper.

My daughter obtained a distinction for Literature and a B for General Paper. My son got a C for General Paper and a D for Literature.

Did sitting for the A-levels affect their other studies? It, in fact, helped with their poly performance. My son graduated in the top 5 per cent of his cohort and has a place in the National University of Singapore. My daughter has not finished her final year yet; so far her Grade Point average is about 3.2.

My reason for sharing our children's education journey is to encourage Mr Vincent Tan to seek an alternative route to further his son's education.

The junior college route is only one of several his son can take. He can take up a poly course or, alternatively, he can complete his A-levels on his own.

I am sure that this experience will give Mr Tan's son the motivation to pull himself together and complete his education one way or another.

More comments on the subject at www.todayonline.com/voices

This is the article that I am responding to.

My son deserves a second chance

Letter from Vincent Tan

05:55 AM Jan 06, 2010

THE new school year started on Monday, but my son, who was in his first year of junior college (JC) last year, will not be attending school this year.

My son qualified for his JC having scored an O-Levels aggregate of 10 points. Except for Chinese, which he failed, he scored either A1s or A2s for his subjects.

However, my son was not a consistent worker. He has the habit of slacking during non-crucial years, only to outperform and surprise peers, teachers and parents alike and make the cut when it matters. At PSLE he topped his school's EM2 stream, with A* in three subjects and an A in Chinese.

Last year, he did badly in his "promo" exams, only getting passing grades in two subjects. Prior to the exam, the school vice-principals (VPs) and his civic tutor (CT) had flagged his "attitude problem" and warned that he would not make it to JC2 if he did not meet the promotion criteria.

Having fared badly in his exams, my playful son was given his report card with a blank under "status", meaning it had not yet been decided whether he would be retained or promoted. The VPs warned that my son was under review and that his performance in the ongoing Project Work (PW) would determine the outcome of that status.

We wanted my son to be given a fair chance and pleaded that his status not be determined and revealed to him until after the PW final presentation was over. However, his CT told him in no uncertain terms that he would be "expelled" and would not even be retained for JC1.

That pulled the carpet from under his feet. For him, all motivation was lost.

A few days after the PW presentation, we were told by the CT to meet the VPs. My son was very happy that day, as the CT had changed tack and told him that he would be retained. As parents we were elated when we were told the news and we went to the meeting with a happy heart.

My wife and I stepped into the room to meet the VPs and were given a report card with the status "retained". As a concerned parent, I voiced out the difficulties we had motivating our son for the PW and we wanted to make sure that in his repeat year he would not face such a setback again. I pointed out that at his young age motivation was a key factor in performance.

To our disbelief, one of the VPs at that point pulled back the report card, said they had made a terrible mistake and asked for our forgiveness. My son was not to be retained, they said - he was being asked to leave.

While my son fared badly at the promos, was it not overly punitive to deprive him of a chance to at least repeat JC1? My son's entire future was at stake.

My son is determined to do JC in Singapore, but when we contacted the other JCs, we were told that they, too, are also weeding out weak students. We have not received so much as a call from any of them.

Back in my school days, some of my more playful classmates used to do badly in non-crucial years only to ace their school-leaving exams when it mattered. Many are eminent members of society now.

Are JCs now too competitive? In their hurry to raise their "value add" quotient, are they pressuring weak students to drop subjects and prematurely weeding out students they deem unsuitable?

I hope the Ministry of Education will look into the school ranking system, which may have seen sacrificial lambs such as my son paying the painful price.

Found finally !!!! The Merdeka Lion

When I was young I remember a bridge which span across the mouth of the Rochor and Kallang Rivers.

My grandfather called it the Merdeka Bridge which in Malay means "freedom" and the bridge represented our fight for independence.


The bridge was built over the Kallang Basin to link Nicoll Highway. Every morning when my grandfather went for his morning walk, he would start from Jalan Pisang which is opposite the Sultan Mosque, walked passed this bridge before reaching National Stadium. He would then turn back and walked towards his home.

He told me that there were two Merdeka Lions with each standing at one end of the bridge.

In 1966, they were relocated to Stadium Walk, near the entrance of of Kallang Park. Many families would go there and have their pictures taken with these lions.

Of course, I pictures taken with the Merdeka Lion but I do not know where these pictures are now.

When I was growing up, I discovered that the Merdeka Lion has disappeared and no one I asked knows where they are.

Therefore, it was a pleasant surprise to discover these lovely Merdeka Lion at the SAFTI MI. We were visiting our eldest son who is in OCS now and when we were touring the grounds, discovered them near the tower.



Needless to say, my children and I proceed to take pictures with these lions just like what my dad did with us 40 years ago.



Something never change.

It is great to allow my children to touch a part of our past. I wonder if these lions should be relocated to a more public place so that more people can enjoy them?

Command, Control and Communication

My husband used to tell this joke when he was in the army. When soldiers go to war, they will shoot the officers first before going into he battle field. Those who have served in NS may have a lot more jokes to share officers. 

I have been reading this book Command in War and learnt about the C3 concept. Command, Control and Communication.

Recently, a lady in command was very upset when she discovered that she did  not command the heart and soul of those she control. Her followers were disengaged and would only carry out her command. She has control over them but they did not buy into her vision. 

Her appointment and position gave her the ability to command and control. Most leaders assume that since they are in the position to command, they can command.

What they missed out is their ability to communicate their vision to those they lead.

Some leaders barks their commands at those they lead.

Others make declaration like because I am in command I can do what I please.

All they have achieved is having their instructions and orders carried out but they do not have followers that will run with them into the battle and die with them and for them.

Once, an officer after a long road march ordered that all his soldiers take off their socks and put their feet at the foot of the bed. This officer personally checked that every single soldier's foot do not have foot rot. Of course his soldiers are willing to die for him in the battlefield.

All  a leader has to do to engage the hearts and souls of those he leads is to communicate his choice of decision clearly to his followers. Once the follower understand the rational for the decision taken, the followers will follow his leader to the end of the earth.

In the book The Art of War, it was said that a leader has to know the environment, the weather, the land terrain, the enemy and most important of all himself. To me that is the highest form of communication

知彼知己，百戰不殆；不知彼而知己，一勝一負；不知彼，不知己，每戰必殆。(故曰：知彼知己，百战不殆；不知彼而知己，一胜一负；不知彼，不知己，每战必殆。)

So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you can win a hundred battles without a single loss.
If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose.
If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas?

And so the present have all been opened. The turkey roasted and eaten. And you step back and wonder..... is it all worth it?

What is the point of giving present when you are not presence at the party? What is the point of sitting in front of the Television watching EPL?

Inference, Interpretation and Implication

1. That you did not respect your host enough to be present at the party. Your body is there but your heart is with the EPL.

2. That all the relatives gather together is less important than the football game that is being played between one football club and the other.

3. That watching a screen image of twenty two men running around in chasing a ball is more interesting then interacting with people you seldom see.

4. Forcing everyone else to watch you game teaches your children that who ever control the remote wins. And that it is all right to be a brat and selfish and see to your own needs with no regard to any one else.


Compared this with another Christmas Party.

1. There are no television in the living room and so guests have the opportunity to interact with one another, catch up on old time, offer attention, appreciations and affirmations that they are people worth listening too.

2. Cousins, second cousins and third cousins who only meet at weddings and funerals can re- established bonds and relationship again over a simple drink and a simple meal of mash potatoes, ham and turkey.

3. Whole family sang out of key but loud and clear in one voice communicating in a way that no presents can that the family is one and there will be support when needed.

4. Most important of all, celebrating that Christmas is not a ritual or routine that one has to follow but a time to re established bond, kinship and family ties.

Next year, we planned to stay at home and have hot chocolate and stolen interacting with our love ones instead of going to yet another party to watch other watch football.

You have been warned.

On Sunday, 20th December 2009, after getting some army issue from Golden Mile Hawker Centre with our son, my husband and I decided to go to Mustafa, the one stop shopping center where we figured our son could get the toiletries all under one roof.

We took a Transcab taxi (No. SHD 463G) at about 3.30 p.m outside the Golden Mile Hawker Centre. He turned into Kapour Road and asked us to alight as he refused to drop us at the entrance of Mustafa (below the overhead shopping mall) along Verdun Road. My husband insisted that he dropped us at our destination.

The driver started to insult my husband and said that he was being selfish. At that point, my husband opened the taxi door and asked my son and I to alight while he went in to the taxi again.

My son and I walked to the entrance of Mustafa and waited anxiously for him. We saw the taxi drove by us to Shing Hotel which is at the next block. Because we were worried about my husband, we fixed our eyes on the taxi.

What happened next shocked us. As my husband got out of the taxi and walked toward Mustafa, the drive got out and ran toward my husband and rained blows at my husband. My son sprinted to the spot (thank you SAF for making sure that he cleared 2.5 km in less then10 mins) where he found my husband had been pushed on the floor. My son had to pull the driver away to prevent him from hurt his father even more.

When the police arrived, both the driver and my husband were advised to make a police report at Police Cantonment Complex.

My husband arrived at 5.30 p.m. Two hours later, he was asked to pay the taxi fare. My husband paid the fair but made a statement listing down the injuries that he has sustained. He left the complex at around 10.30 p.m.

Lesson learned

1. Passenger still have to pay for taxi fare even though taxi driver has provided unsatisfactory services.

2. Even if the driver has hurt passenger, the passenger cannot bring up a criminal charge against the taxi driver.

3. The taxi driver is in the driver seat and therefore he has the power to decide where he can drop passenger off or else he will take the law into his own hand.

4. Transcab Taxi website state the following

• Whole Team aim for excellence and to provide excellent service
• Experienced people in transport line
  

Till today, I still feel traumatized whenever I see a Red Transcab Taxi.

You have been warned.




(My husband and my son explaining to the traffic police what had happened)











The taxi with the taxi driver. Notice his calm face. Maybe he knows that nothing can happened to him.

How much does it cost?






Cost of trip to OCS $40.











Cost of leaving mass tin and other staff in Tekong and so must go to Beach Road to buy back stuff. $80










Cost of having two other esses before going in ? Priceless














What most OCS are good at .......z....z...z..

It's payback time

Hand up if you have promised any of your children that if they do well in the final exam, PSLE, O Level or A level, Papa or Mama will buy........ (fill in the blanks here, it does not matter), bring you to ..... (again fill in the blanks here, it does not matter) or bargain .... you life away.

One of my friend ran out of gift to motivate her son who is completing his A level next year at a junior college in Bishan. He has been given a high powered computer yet again( so that he can play batter with great graphic), brought all over Asia for holidays for doing well.

I called this the billiard ball syndrome. The child is the coloured ball on the pool table, the red balls are the gifts that parents promised for good performance and the parents are the ones holding the cue stick. Notice how the coloured balls will never moved by themselves but are dependent on a. the red ball to transfer the energy and b. the amount of force that the cue stick has been used to transfer the energy from the red ball to the coloured ball.

When a child has been brought up to believe that learning is not an end in itself but a means to get the next PSP, hand phone or trip to the ski resort in Korea, he or she is not given the opportunity to experience the joy of learn.

Of course, some parents will argue that it is better his child passes the exam at what ever cost, never mind if he grow up selfish or materialistic. Or they commit the ad populum fallacy that since everyone of my friend, relative and neighbour is doing it, it is all right.

So what can a parent do to cultivate this joy of learning, to bring up self driven learner that is independent and intelligent at the same time?

Firstly, never associate learning with any kind of reward. Period.

Secondly, celebrate any small achievement that the child achieve at his own time and pace. Our four year old just learn to write an A yesterday and we were so happy and so proud of him. We praised him for being able to write but did not promise him that if he can write from A to Z he will get his Optimum Prime for Christmas.


Thirdly, create an environment which is safe and secure for the child to learn. The brain responses better to a positive environment. If the brain is stressed, it will perform but the performance is under par and will not be long lasting. Answer any questions that the child has and do not make him feel that his question is stupid, uninteresting or useless. Most important of all, never compare the brain with any other brain. It is the easiest way for the brain to give up it quest for learning.

A human brain is designed to learn. The million dollar question is what will it learn? Often, it will learn what the parents does not intend for it to learn. We as parents just have to remember Newton Third Law of motion: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Now think. What is the opposite reaction when your child receive his gift this Christmas for doing well in his exam?


You have been warned.